If you are bored, or want a break from constructing cheap furniture, read the following piece of satire, in the comfort of your deconstructed life before the last minute of December 31, or the end of the world, whichever comes first!
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Between their frustrations and sex, there's not a whole lot of time for thinking up things to hate about Islam. How to express their hate in a human language is even more challenging!
Therefore, the help of an ape called #Koco is being sought.
In similar news, Mimzy Vidz and Veedu Vidz, her equally idiotic husband, are making videos for their audience on YouTube. No doubt many "like-minded" people visit their channel daily.
The "Ex Muslim" couple never disappoint with their verbal forays into lunacy, abundantly lacking in common sense logic (forget about wisdom) which is compensated for in comedic relief or one of their regular skits wherein an old Asian guy #ZakSuit dreams of accosting Veedu's wife, lol.
They believe, since they first 'brainstormed' (a term we use V E R Y loosely here!) the idea - bc they must be the experts now that Christian evangelical types (those preachy and self serving David Woods of the world) have better things to do than spread human "love and compassion" with tough love (or insane videos admitting to patricide...) #ohno
(Having "debunked" Zakir Naik, there's still much to do laments David aka Psyco, before Islam can be relegated to a mere footnote in history)
Maybe New Year's Day is a good target, LOLZ!!!
That's what apostates and Christians like Wood really anticipate, more surely than they believe that pre-Christmas Sales will present many wonderful things for their meager cash (earnings from their #Instagram sales and #Patreon donations from well wishers), or the New Year's resolutions to lose weight or bulk up.
We heard through the grapevine, one he has growing in his backyard, lolz, Veedu has promised to be good this year and not overindulge again on Its-Not-Really-Figgy-Pudding, an almost soley vegan and non X-Mas dessert now (because atheists and vegans are the people who matter!)
(I actually have no idea what is in real Figgy Pudding tbh - JD)
While Christians do understand how Muslims feel about Muhammad, because they feel the same about #Jesus (you worship Mohamed, they say!), they believe that because the holy spirit is dwelling within them they can truly experience L O V E!
It's an "inspired" L O V E, whereas anything Muslims feel must be due to a cancer Christians long ago diagnosed in the Muslim psyche that confuses L O V E with an extremist penchant for killing the INFIDEL...
It's an "inspired" L O V E, whereas anything Muslims feel must be due to a cancer Christians long ago diagnosed in the Muslim psyche that confuses L O V E with an extremist penchant for killing the INFIDEL...
Without Jesus' love no doubt you can't know what real selfless love means!, any one of them might argue.
(Now that I've spelled it out for them, they probably will run with it! They are the "'cut and paste' crucifixed (crucifixated?) supervillains" of hypocritical fanaticism, no less would I expect from them!) DW has had his fifteen minutes of fame, I just can't get that crazy confession of his out of my mind now...!
(Now that I've spelled it out for them, they probably will run with it! They are the "'cut and paste' crucifixed (crucifixated?) supervillains" of hypocritical fanaticism, no less would I expect from them!) DW has had his fifteen minutes of fame, I just can't get that crazy confession of his out of my mind now...!
But Mimzy and Veedu, or #Veedu and #Mimzy - conjoined twins, really deserve a brand of their own! Vimzy or Meedu perhaps!?
Like #Brangelina or Zoey Tur & Ben Shapiro, they must be experts on love, relationships, feelings and logic; don't forget L O G I C because Mr Shapiro is in this sentence; where would we be without him!
Where would logic FAILS find material to fill their channels without the circumcized hero for western Judeo-Not-So-Much-Christian thought!
Where would logic FAILS find material to fill their channels without the circumcized hero for western Judeo-Not-So-Much-Christian thought!
These L O V E experts must be taken seriously, because OBVIOUSLY they know what they're talking about!
Ben Loves Israela, are words carved into a wooden pew at the local synagogue Shapiro grew up, and of course Zoey Tur at least loves somebody! Maybe an uncommonly well-groomed gas pump attendant she spied recently who it so happens was heard mumbling to himself about his loathing for both Ben Shapiro AND Milo Yainnopoulos; in other words, "he's perfect!"
And if marriage isn't proof of L O V E expertise then what is, argue Vimzy (Meedu, if you prefer?)?
After all, #apostates in England hold nothing more dear (a pig roast, Brexit, or clean air and water aside) than family who are "Ex Muslims".
After all, #apostates in England hold nothing more dear (a pig roast, Brexit, or clean air and water aside) than family who are "Ex Muslims".
You can't go wrong, marrying into Money or Apostasy!
Let's just cut to the chaste against this ridiculousness! Cue the Muslim Apologetics...
"Just because you love #Jesus or you love #vegans doesn't make *you* the expert, okay!", cry some disgruntled #mooslims who just wanna get in on all this "love making" action!
(Don't worry: It's just your word against other people, who only *believe* *they* happen to know *something* about LOVE - Admin)
Vimzy (or Meedu, if you prefer) argue that you can't love someone you've never met cheek to cheek!! Just as they say, you can't know someone you've never had the pleasure of accosting at Costa!
Christians and others will definitely reject this flimsy and unproven "theory of love" that was just made up...
Despite imminent protests from religious communities, the tablet it was typed on will one day sit in the British Museum of Natural History, The Hitch Society For The Advancement Of Atheists says an anonymous statement posted on the DEEP WEB: According to "sources" the group Anonymous most recently attributed this claim to the "Apostate Prophet", an Ex Muslim youtuber, who could not be reached for comment. Otherwise known as fuggly, he's reportedly been enjoying an aromatic foot bath for the past decade, since he lost himself in the beauty section at a pharmacy in Berlin while trying to find just the right dermatologically tested skin care product that best suits his particular complexion (pomegranate face, lol).
Despite imminent protests from religious communities, the tablet it was typed on will one day sit in the British Museum of Natural History, The Hitch Society For The Advancement Of Atheists says an anonymous statement posted on the DEEP WEB: According to "sources" the group Anonymous most recently attributed this claim to the "Apostate Prophet", an Ex Muslim youtuber, who could not be reached for comment. Otherwise known as fuggly, he's reportedly been enjoying an aromatic foot bath for the past decade, since he lost himself in the beauty section at a pharmacy in Berlin while trying to find just the right dermatologically tested skin care product that best suits his particular complexion (pomegranate face, lol).
As a modern man he believes in pampering himself, despite appearances to the contrary since 1989!
This still leaves plenty of time for his rants on youtube against the threat of Islamizationalism!
Natural history of course is all about what Humans believe, because the other things in nature can't know or express anything coherent OR in English, much like Muslims, who are incapable of critical thought, logic or even their own mother tongue! #justjoking
Apparently, Veedu is still coming to grips with the fact that #AliDawah is a citizen of the #UK
Imagine his shock when he learns Ali is his close neighbour (Ali's forty-five year old self says, 'Salaam' to Veedu (the pathetic and lonely beer guzzling future ex husband of Mimzy) and deposits a charitable (and halal certified) bread pudding into his calloused hands, in the year 2036.
You see, Veedu has been spending the best part of the New Year constructing IKEA furniture while still trying to devise ways in which to deconstruct Ali Dawah's, "WHY MIMZY AND VEEDU WERE DESTINED TO HATE EACHOTHER BECAUSE APOSTATES ARE INCAPABLE OF LOVE" which the Muslim Apologist uploaded in 2019, 2020, 2021, 2023, 2025, 2026, 2027, 2029 and again in 2030, when he got a permanent injunction from the Sharia court in London.
Long story short, Veedu is planning his early retirment, after 'the collapse of his "apostate family and empire"', basically everything he had that has left a gaping void in his heart. He then laments, "I'm an ape man, I'm an ape ape man".
If only he had never been MAN, and only been APE! Maybe in the future he wouldn't feel so bad without HER!
A well known British psychic predicts the annual Forbes' Best Summer Reading List For Success In Work & Life, 2020 will be as follows:
10 Room, by Emma Donoghue
9 Sherlocke Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle
8 The Dark Side, by Janet Mayer
7 Rhett & Link's Book Of Mythicality, by Rhett & Link
6 Fifty Shades Of Gray, by E.L. James
5 Umbrella, by Will Self
4 The Art Of War, by Sun Tzu
3 The Torah, Unknown
2 T Series: Know Thy Enemy, by Pewdiepie
1 The Quran, by God
Obviously, fantasy, religion and its not so polar opposite, conflict are popular again in 2020!
You also will not regret purchasing the old classics or new best selling authors!
You also will not regret purchasing the old classics or new best selling authors!
apostates, #amwriting, #Christians, #Jesus, love, satire, #AliDawah, #BenShapiro, #Brexit, #Christopher Hitchens, David Wood, Forbes, #Mimzyvidz, #VeeduVidz, #ZakSuit, #IKEA, Instagram,
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