My tough love

Respect is more important than love; you could call tolerance a part of respect.

I can tolerate almost anyone, but to love someone is not a small deal. We love our families. Love is nothing to take lightly. While love is important, and people can't live without it, respect must also be nurtured. Respect for others, whether similar or different (to oneself) is more important than love. Societies cannot function without 'respect'; families members also must show respect; love binds people closer together, but with loss of respect relationships will fall apart; no matter how much love might be there. This is why Muslims must not make jokes about their friends, or call them names they don't like. Insincerity will undermine the relationship between 'lovers' (or friends).

The 'sufis' speak about love as though it has no boundaries; like ‘free love’, it seems to permeate their lives, but runs ‘hither and thither’ out of control. They also have no sense of who the Muslim is really supposed to be; "serious about religion" is not an area of importance to them, anyone with a drum, dancing to his own rhythm can join, and is ‘Muslim’.

Sufism was a lot about ‘worship’, worshiping through body movements and dancing, or chanting repeatedly. Everyone has seen the whirling of the dervishes. For the ‘religious’ among them, their rituals begin at dawn, or prior to the dawn. (I wonder if they go to ‘salaat’ in congregation at all?). The media portrays them as obsessed with 'dancing' and 'worship', but doesn't speak about their daily life, at all. This image is something which also feeds the wrong portrayal of Muslims in general.

Islam has obligations which have to be met, such as the five times daily prayers; and for men that means in congregation in the ‘masjid’. But work, societal and family demands must also be met and often take precedence.

(If you are Muslim, please pray on time and in congregation (for the men). If you are sincere, Allah will make it easy for you. If you love Allah, you will pray on time and with submission).

Many people do not pray the prayers correctly, or regularly; the prayer is something which can draw you nearer to Allah, but it is also compulsory; if you don’t pray Allah can punish you. Moreover, your life will feel empty without Allah.

Islam is a 'way of life'

But Islam is not only about ‘worship’; the acts of worship; there is more to Islam than prayers and rituals. Islam is a complete way of life, not a mere religion like Christianity is in the typical Western mind.

While many Westerners are now attracted to the rituals in Buddhism, or even the martial arts, which is a form of body worship, Islam compels the non-Muslim to seek out the infinite wisdom and beauty of this greatest of all religions with its “beautiful preaching”. Islam, to them, seems harsh, medieval and barbaric, misogynistic and incomprehensible; that is the fault of the person, who reasons about Islam, not with truth and sincerity, but with incorrect assumptions and wrong beliefs about Islam which have been internalized over a lifetime, in many cases.

Some sufis believe that to love everyone is the way to go; this is similar to what Christian preachers claim, that they love everybody; or that's what they say. But to preach 'love' and not preach Islam, is not sincerity. One could preach tolerance more than love; tolerance is a cornerstone not only of "freedom", but of "respect". Even "love" requires some level of tolerance. but it seems that Christian preachers do not have both in their repertoire when dealing with Muslims. One feels that they can barely stand to look at some of their Muslim fellows (who preach Islam). They often seem agitated, and angry. Body language will often give a person's real thoughts and feelings away.

On facebook, a couple of years ago, I was unfriended by an American Muslim who was very vocal about her feelings against her government; she was what some call a 911truther, among other things. She was very visible, with many friends, and yes, she was even a "Sufi". When I commented that "Tolerance does not imply love", at the end of a conversation with two Christians in my friend's group, well, that was all she (or someone else) needed. I was not a friend; I was not loveable. I had not said anything in bad taste, in fact I had defended the Christian fundamentalist's right to her opinion! Yet, there was someone in that space who found offence with my speech. It was too bad, I thought, and I was disappointed. I picked myself up and dusted myself off, as the expression goes.

The truth about tolerance, is that most people don't know what it means; and they don't know what it is. They don't practice real tolerance. "Tolerance does not imply love".

Muslims are very tolerant, and usually they can show patience in the face of adversity.

For someone sincere to learn the Truth, Allah will guide him to the straight path which is Islam.

DD